I find people confuse talking with communicating. There is no easier way to draw the distinction than to remember some of the driest lectures I attended in college. Lots of talking, very little communication.

I have found that I often talk more than is necessary with diminishing returns on actual communication. I recall a time when a colleague asked for an explanation for something, and I launched into great detail assuming she would value the depth. Luckily for me, she was comfortable stopping me halfway through and saying “so the answer is this?” She had what she needed and I was making it worse by talking more.

As a leader we often miss colleagues that are willing to be honest with us. Our team and our peers are concerned if they point out that we are talking too much it will hurt our relationship. Or hurt their career. Instead they politely listen, or worse covertly check their email.

I have found the I need to be aware of how much talking I do relative to actual communication. I start with one or two sentences. I pause. I look for physical cues of understanding, or queues for more elaboration. I ask the open question “Is that helpful?” or “Is that enough detail?”

I have a colleague that leans the other direction, and communicates too little of the details I need. I may be asking for status on a project and my colleagues says “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” I want the details so I find myself digging for more answers. Consider if your tendency is to talk less and check-in with your listener on whether you have shared enough.

Focus on communication and understanding. Recognize your natural tendencies in how much you talk. Ensure you are checking in with your listener and tailoring how much you talk to the situation. Do not assume talking more is communicating more.