You may immediately think of this as just another inspiring statement you see on social media - “be true to yourself!” There’s depth beyond the clever Facebook postings you see every day. I was reading an article on Slow Hustle, a web-site on slowing down and enjoying life, called “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying”. It sounds dark, and there’s real wisdom in the words.

The top 5 regrets come from the experience of a nurse who provided care for people in their last 12 weeks of life. The number one regret is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” It seems straightforward. I really I think we can all relate to this concept. We don’t live in a bubble; we shape our decisions by the way we think other will perceive us.

It isn’t reasonable to think we won’t adjust our lives based on what others think. Many people don’t push the bounds enough. Or challenge the assumptions they make. I recall a provocative question that has stuck with me: “what have you done today that scares you?” I would say often we don’t live the life true to ourselves because we’re afraid of the consequences. And that keeps us safe. It also keeps us from pushing boundaries that should be pushed.

Number two of the regrets is “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” I find this regret hard to relate to personally. I understand not letting work run your life. Perhaps this is where many people struggle. I am one that values hard work. If I’m working, I want to work hard. If I’m playing, I want to play hard. It reminds me of the Jim Harbaugh quote “Attacking this day with Enthusiasm Unknown to Mankind.” I prefer to interpret this regret as wishing I had chosen work less often. I very much agree we should all know where to draw the line. And we all need to prioritize our self and family.

Another of the top five regrets is not staying in touch with friends. I can totally relate. My friend Alex recently pointed out that although I’ve written many blog posts, I’ve never once mentioned him. And I want to publicly appreciate him for reaching out to me. I’ve done a better job in the last few years of being aware of my friendships and working to stay in touch. I find that staying in touch is hard for me, and I am always glad to hear from a friend. So thanks, Alex, for e-mailing.

The last regret of the top five simply states “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Here’s the big reveal of the top five regrets. Folks on their deathbed recognize what so many of us have missed. Over the last three years I’ve worked much harder at allowing myself to be happy.

We have the power to allow ourselves to be happy. It may seem easier when Michigan football is winning. Regardless of outside circumstances, we are in control of our own happiness. So take control. Live a life true to yourself. Be happy.