A leader says yes a lot. It’s a positive affirmation. When someone makes a request of you, the best possible answer they can hear is “yes!” It’s so powerful and affirming. “Will you help me?” “Yes!” Imagine that you can provide that affirmation.

My kids joke that I’m mostly a “no dad” and only sometimes do I become “yes dad” (on special occasions like vacations or no-mom-no-rules-weekend). And it’s true, often times my first impulse is to say no. I’m not sure why. It’s a reflex to resist outside forces. Not everyone is like that, I know there are people who say “yes” more than I do. And I work on trying to say yes more often.

It reminds me of a rule of improv that a colleague Hervé Granjean shared. Always respond with “yes and” to keep the improv moving. There’s an interesting twist on improvisational business where you need to keep the work moving.

My first instinct is often to be concerned by the commitment or change to whatever previous trajectory. I worry that my “yes” will commit me beyond my limits. I have spent time training myself to first think “How can I say yes?” Very often you can say “yes” in a variety of ways that affirm your willingness to help without being overcommitted.

I recall specifically an experience where I got an e-mail from a colleague who said “do you have a resource that can do this particular technology that I can borrow for six months.” My initial thought was “no, my resources are all fully committed.” Instead, I found myself asking “What would I do if I were in this situation?” I replied with a paragraph of detailing a service provider we use when we’re in a crunch for talent and we need someone quickly. I gave my colleague the person I deal with at the service provider and offered to introduce him if he’d like. He was so grateful. No one else had bothered to reply. I gave him an option when before he had none.

I’m still a “no dad” most of the time. Although I do find myself finding ways to say “yes” more often. When my kids want an additional hour of TV time I replied yesterday “Yes, after you walk the dog and do the laundry.” It was met with muted enthusiasm.

Try finding a way to say “yes” today maybe once when your initial reaction is to say “no” and see what it does for you. For me it has unlocked better relationships, and more power to help others achieve their goals and my own.