I believe in doing as you expect your team to do. When you are a leader, you tell people to do one thing and if they see you do something else - it will undermine your credibility. This conflict creates confusion and anxiety. This truth is particularly poignant when it comes to balancing the work with the non-work parts of your life. Model the balance you want from your team to get the best results.

It is important to communicate your expectations clearly and regularly to your team. This communication is important for the balance you expect from them. Tell them if you support them taking all their vacation. Tell them if you support them taking paternity leave. Tell them if you support them taking care of a sick family member. Telling them isn’t enough. You communicate with your actions, too.

If you are telling your team to balance these priorities at home and for themselves, you need to model that behavior. Your team needs to see you treating yourself the same way, lest they think you don’t mean it. Consider the situation from their point of view. When your team sees you not taking vacations, working longer hours than you say you expect from them, what conclusion do you think they draw? Most likely, they think if they behave like you they are more apt to gain your approval. They may even look at the words that encourage them to take their vacation as a “trick” to see how committed they are to work.

When someone on your team that you care about comes to you and says they need to care for a sick family member, or be home early for their child’s recital, is your first reaction to tell them they should think about work first? Now, flip the script and ask how you treat yourself in this situation. When you have personal demands outside of your work, are you as kind to yourself as you would be to your staff? Often we are hardest on ourselves, and our team sees it.

When you are hard on yourself, and not taking time for your own needs, your staff will inevitably internalize that this is the reality you expect from them. Your team cannot imagine why you would encourage them to have a balance between work and home when you don’t give that same balance to yourself. They assume the standard you expect is the one you hold yourself to every day.

Ask yourself what you really want from your team. What balance do you want for them to create a sustainable and productive workplace? Apply that same balance to yourself and be sure your team sees you live the balance.