Honoring Time

I was in a conversation with my coach a few weeks ago and he made a comment that I was a “time honorer.” It was a new term to me, but it struck a chord. It’s true, I have a huge respect for time - both my own and other people’s. My relationship with time affects my relationship with other people every day.

Time is one of those things that makes us all equal. We all have only 24 hours in a day. No matter how rich or poor anyone is, they cannot make more time. We are all given the exact same budget of time. We often use the phrase “make time for something.” The reality is that we must prioritize how we spend our limited amount of time.

I am consistently thinking about where I spend time. I work hard to avoid spending time on unimportant tasks. I love automating tasks that are routine. This propensity to spend as little time as necessary on unimportant tasks has hurt me. For example, when I haven’t prioritized small talk with coworkers or clients. I have had to deliberately prioritize relationships in order to prioritize informal water-cooler conversations differently.

I am extremely conscious of taking up other people’s time. I am always on-time to meetings or usually five minutes early to avoid an unexpected delay in getting started. I will alway join a call on time or a minute early. I am deliberate about planning how long it will take to travel places and I work to arrive where I’m needed when I’m expected. I consider appointments as commitments that I keep. 

Not everyone honors time as I do. I work with many different types of people every day. Some arrive on the dot for meetings and calls every time. Others consistently join a few minutes late. I work with people who consider a meeting time as a suggestion. When our time comes, I can’t reach them and I don’t hear back for a day. I experience folks who see the world as full of reasons why they couldn’t make it on-time.

I used to get frustrated with someone who didn’t honor time in the same fashion that I did. I recall expecting everyone should value my time in the same way I valued theirs. I’ve become better at understanding different behavior styles. I realize that my way of honoring time can also be frustrating. I’ve had friends who thought I was a jerk for choosing not to interrupt them to say good morning when I felt I was honoring their time. I know people who think I’m rude to cut off pleasantries and prioritize starting a meeting on-time.

Consider your relationship to time, and recognize how you might be different than those around you. When you interact with others that are different, it can affect your relationship without you even knowing it. Be aware of how others view time and your actions differently. Consider adapting your behavior.

Have you found your relationship with time affecting your relationship with others? Share this article and comment on how time affects your relationships.