When Is Healthy Disagreement Toxic?
I have always been a proponent of healthy disagreement. I enjoy arguing both sides of any topic, and I believe disagreement can result in better choices. I can be guilty of seeing only “my way” and not exploring all the options fully enough. Healthy disagreement can help pierce through this one-sided thinking. There is one situation, however, when healthy disagreement is toxic.
I recall being on a leadership team call where eight or so managers and executives were discussing a variety of topics. The CEO was outlining some of the goals for the company, and one of the founders spoke up and said, “I disagree with this direction.” The rest of the room went silent, and it was clear that the apparent public disagreement between the CEO and founder had put a chill in the conversation in the room.
Disagreeing with your boss can be a tricky situation. Many bosses don’t invite disagreement, and you should be cautious about assuming your boss wants (even healthy) disagreement. In some cases your boss may invite discussion. Even in those cases, be wary of the sincerity of the invitation. Consider, if you can, how others have fared when they have disagreed with your boss.
How do you decide it is safe to disagree with your boss? Perhaps your relationship is strong enough to believe her when she says she really wants to hear dissenting opinions. Perhaps you have historical precedent that shows she takes this feedback and disagreement in a healthy and positive way. When you do choose to proceed with healthy disagreement, don’t do it in public. Find a private opportunity to discuss the topic with your boss. Not only will you help her save face (in case you’re wrong), you also help avoid the questions that are raised in others when they witness disagreement between senior leaders.
There is one circumstance when it is never healthy to disagree with your boss. When a decision has already been made, your job as a leader is to support the decision. You can’t disagree (in public or private) once the organization (your boss) has made a decision. When you disagree after a decision is made, it is toxic and subversive. When others see you challenge a made decision, it creates confusion and disharmony among other leaders and staff. You can't continue to disagree, and you can’t point out the unchosen alternatives that you preferred. These behaviors are toxic to the cohesive organization.
Healthy disagreement and discussion can help come to a good decision in a highly functioning organization. When there is trust among peers, conflict can result in better outcomes for everyone. Once a decision is made the organization needs to align behind the decision. Every person must act in support of the decision as though there was no disagreement to ensure the best results for the organization.