There are questions that are really criticisms. Whether you know it or not. You may not realize that the question you are asking will come across negatively. Reconsider your initial instinct to ask these questions, and reframe a more positive way to get at your answer.

Are you sure? Depending on how you say these words it will come across as something like “I think you are wrong.” Maybe “I doubt you.” This question is really second guessing someone else’s judgement. If you are the boss, it sows seeds of doubt on trust to your staff. If you are a subordinate, it can undermine authority. Instead, consider saying “I’d like to learn more about how you came to this conclusion.”

Is this a good use of my time? It isn’t hard to realize this question really means “I don’t think this is a good use of my time.” Who are you asking? If it is your boss, or someone higher up in the organization, you are again second guessing their judgement. They may know something you do not about why you should spend time here. If you truly think there are other more pressing tasks, consider saying “I was going to do XYZ, are you comfortable with me stetting that aside for this task?”

Do I need to do XYZ? Similar to the question above, the implication here is that someone has asked you to do something and they did not really mean it. Or you are special. Maybe you are. Maybe this task is not meant for you. By asking if you “really need to do something” you can come across as wanting to do nothing instead. Try saying, “I would propose I do ABC instead of XYZ will that work for you?”

Isn’t that really just XYZ? In this case, you are drawing a conclusion that a suggestion is similar to an existing idea. The implication in these words is that the idea is not new. Or that the idea does not have original merit. The words “really just” sound pithy, and can have an edge. Try saying, “I see some similarities to XYZ, do you agree?”

Why did you do that? While not bad entirely, this question can be terrible if it comes across as an indictment of an entire action or actions. This question can be especially harmful if you are the boss. Instead to explore the action with “Tell me more about how you arrived at that action.” Or even “What did you accomplish with that action?” Inquire rather than judge.

A common theme in all these questions is implied judgement that is veiled in a question. Consider how you can sidestep judgement and avoid a defensive reception.