One of the experiences I have when I’m traveling is an enhanced focus on being present. I can often be preoccupied with what comes next. There have been times when I am overly attached to following the plan. During my recent trip to Japan, I found myself better focusing on the present and letting go of my plan.

Leading up to travel I am often developing the plan. I focus on what planes or trains I will be catching. I research what hotels I will stay at. I make lists of what sights I want to see. Then the trip begins. Just as the famous quote says, “no plans survive first contact with the enemy.” I am always amazed how the plans become less relevant once the trip has started. In turn my enjoyment rests on focusing on the present, not holding on tightly to the plan.

We arrived in Tokyo after a 12 hour flight and we needed to pick up our Japan Rail pass and catch the train to the center of the city near our rental flat. We were exhausted from the travel and I didn’t know exactly how we were going to get to the apartment. The main train station, Tokyo Station, was enormous and crowded at five o’clock when we arrived. It was overwhelming. We decided to find the nearest taxi stand and rely on a professional taxi driver to deliver us to the right address. I was communicating with our host who would meet us at the apartment with the key. It was during these moments that I began to lose my attachment to the future and focus on the present. I found myself focusing on “where do we go next and how do we get there?”

Our days in Tokyo were full of seeing all the sights on our lists. From cat cafes to Akhiabara, my kids had their own list of destinations in mind. I had read that we needed to get up early to see the tuna auction at the famous Tsujiki market. Many folks went the first morning after their flight since they were already mixed up on the time zones. I woke up early and found that my kids were happy to keep sleeping (time zones mean less to teenagers). I lost my expectation that we were going to see the tuna auction. I headed to the local convenience store to buy breakfast for us all.

Every morning was a renewed exercise in letting go of my attachment to a sightseeing list. I have a reputation for being a “go-go-go” traveler in my family. I always have a list of places I want to go see. It usually involves a long walk. I learned after our first big summer of travel, that forcing my family to walk to see all the places on my list leads to unhappy tears early on in any vacation. Instead, I wake up early and go for a run. I get to see what sights I can while getting in my morning exercise. My family would wake up and inevitably turn on their devices (any destination must have wifi). I would begin testing the group appetite for the activity of the day.

There were days we were all hungry and wanted to hit the market for morning sushi and grilled meat. Many days we had breakfast of instant noodles at the apartment. We had a day where we all wanted to see the anime culture of Akhiabara. There weren’t that many days when everyone wanted to see the temple that I wanted to see. I eventually realized that many of the temples had adjacent markets with souvenirs my kids loved. We had our moments of walking too far in the heat and humidity that lead to tired feet and some tears. I would look for an opportunistic cafe with ice cream and Dr. Pepper. We enjoyed air conditioning, rested our feet and raised our blood sugar.

We were excited about the opportunity to see the Sumidagawa Fireworks Festival - one of the biggest fireworks festivals in Japan that was happening during our trip. We planned to spread out a blanket with hundreds of thousands of other spectators. When the day came, the weather couldn’t have been worse. It was raining. We headed up to Asaksa to find thousands of people roaming the streets with umbrellas, not willing to give up on the festival but also getting soaked as they walked along the sidewalk. We were doing the same.

Our plan was busted. We couldn’t sit somewhere and relax before the fireworks. All the restaurants were pre-booked. It continued to rain. In the end, we ordered some McDonald’s hamburgers and ate standing up before deciding to head back to the apartment. It felt like a defeat, but as a family we were all wet and hungry and we got food and dried out. We didn’t see more than a glimpse of fireworks, and we didn’t let it ruin our trip.

I certainly pushed the boundaries for my family. We ended up on a five kilometer walk in 95 degree weather to a mountain temple in Kyoto. We probably should have taken a taxi. Lucky there an ice cream stand at the end of the journey. And we discovered souvenir shops with some of the best origami art, swords and throwing stars. The experience yielded a family expression (based on the Internet meme) that had us laughing through the entire trip. One of the kids would say “It’s only a short walk, he said. It will be great, he said.” We would end up in stitches.

We had an amazing trip to Japan. I continue to learn how to be in the present. I had to lose my worry about what was coming tomorrow. I worked on losing my attachment to visit all the places on my list. I worked on having all of us enjoy the trip. My goal was to end our travels having enjoyed the experience (and still appreciating one another). I take that lesson away to my work and my leadership. Pushing anyone too hard can ruin any hope of achieving your goal.