There are lots of good reasons to ask questions in our conversations. I was listening to the HBR Ideacast called Asking for Advice Makes People Think You’re Smarter with researchers Francesca Gino and Alison Wood Brooks on the benefits of asking questions. In particular, this podcast shared the result that asking questions leaves your partner in conversation with positive feelings about you. It strengthens your relationship.

Asking question also helps you uncover unexpected information in your conversation. When you ask questions you open up the possibility of learning something you otherwise couldn’t know. In particular, open ended questions allows the other person in the conversation to open up and share their worldview with you. In contrast, when you are making prescriptive statements in your conversation there is no additional insight to be gained.

What about the danger of stupid questions? In the podcast, the authors Gino and Wood Brooks share the two most common “stupid questions”.

First, questions that are so simple the listener may judge that you should know the answer. In this case, the researchers from the podcast share that the risk to your reputation here is not as high as you might think. Asking simple questions does not leave people with a permanent brand of “ignoramus.”

Second, questions that are clearly not the area of the listener’s expertise. In this case, the listener may judge that the questioner doesn’t know how to find effective sources for the questions at hand. The risk of long-term damage here again is low. We have natural good feelings when asked for our advice. Even as non-experts it is flattering to be asked.

You may think as a technical leader you should be asking fewer questions and reduce the risk of looking uninformed. Do not fall into this trap. How can you mitigate the risks of asking more questions (and possibly asking a stupid question)? Here are some key tactics you can employ that will help eliminate any downside to asking more questions.

When you ask a question provide some brief context as to why you’re asking. If there is a risk that the question is simple, you can even preface the question with “I realize this may be simple, but this is a new area for me…” or “I’m sorry if I might have missed the context that explains this somewhere…” This type of language can provide needed context to diffuse possible judgement on why you’re asking.

I have often been hired to lead pre-existing teams, and I find asking questions to be very important to understand my new team. When I dive in, I preface my questions with “I’d like to know more about how you work…” or “I’m interested to learn what resources you may need…” I avoided my questions coming across like an inquisition by providing background on why I was asking and what I would do with that information.

Do some research before asking your question. As much as it’s important to ask more questions, simply asking anything that pops into your head can reflect that you haven’t put some effort into solving the problem yourself. There is value in coming into a question with some of your own research that provides context for the work you’ve done prior to asking. For example, you could say “I’ve talked to Jim and looked on the company wiki but I don’t see an answer to this question…”

I had a programmer on my team that would come to me with questions very often without doing any research on possible answers. I liked that he was willing to ask and engage, although over time it was clear that he didn’t have the determination for finding the solution himself. Even more concerning, he wasn’t growing in his own ability to solve problems. He didn’t do any research before asking, and it became clear that he wasn’t getting better at his job.

Listen to the answer and follow-through. The sure-fire stupid question is one that you ask and then ignore the answer. Where asking questions can add strength to your relationship, ignoring the response can destroy trust and erode that same relationship. You may not realize how important relationships are as a technical leader, and you may not realize that people pay attention if you don’t follow through.

I recall a recurring pattern with a former boss where he would ask me questions about my family in an effort to get to know me, and he would not listen to the answers such that he would ask again (or ask a follow-up question that demonstrated he didn’t listen to my previous answer). This pattern of questions hurt our relationship.

As a technical leader you may think your role is to tell more and ask less. Be aware of the power of asking questions, and don’t worry so much about asking stupid questions. Sure, there are stupid questions, but you can do some easy things to minimize the risk of them being seen as stupid questions.

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