It is natural to manage with assumptions about your team, your peers and your boss. We have blind spots in our assumptions. Our blind spots are often easier to see when we put ourselves in the other persons’ position.

I recall a time when I was protecting my team by taking on some of the basic tasks I thought they wouldn’t want to have to do. I proudly shared that I did some of these basic tasks in a check-in meeting with one engineer, and to my surprise he was upset. He asked “Why are you spending your time doing those tasks? That's my job, and you have more important things to do!” I was stunned.

A simple way to start this validation is to consider how you would feel if your roles were reversed. How would you feel if your boss tried to keep from you the stresses on the business. Would you appreciate the shielding, or would you want to know and be armed to help out? If you found your boss doing something that seemed below her pay grade, would you be happy or would you want her to focus on the important stuff at her level?

One easy way to validate your assumptions with your team: just ask. Imagine assuming that your team appreciates being sheltered from decisions and stresses. I have asked my team how much they want to know about those stresses, I hear that they want very much to know what’s happening to better understand the context of the business.

Another benefit to asking is the investment in your relationship. When you ask your team how they feel about something, you open yourself up to hearing their feelings. This question is an investment in the trust that you are building with your team. I have heard staff express frustration that they aren’t heard, and that their boss does not care what they think. Asking your team will help overcome that perception.

Take time to consider how our team might truly feel in any given situation. Put yourself in their shoes. Consider just asking, both for your understanding and for your relationship.