“You need more executive presence…” I have found this comment highly prevalent in performance reviews for technical staff who have transitioned into management and haven’t figured out how to present themselves to the more senior staff. These people are referred to as missing “gravitas” or “executive presence” when dealing with other executives or clients. Here are three things you can do that will improve how others perceive you.

1. When you’re talking, look people in the eyes. So often I see staff looking down at their notes, looking at their own slides, or simply looking off into space. If you’re in a meeting and you’re talking, you’re talking to the people in the meeting. You can’t look them all in the eyes at once, so you pick someone and look at them directly. You switch to others if you’re talking for long enough that it would be odd to just look at one person.

Pro tip: if you’re looking at someone, and they’re engaged in what you’re saying - engage them more with something like “do you agree, Tom?"

2. Avoid distractions - computers, phones, doodling - all of these send a signal that you’re checked out. You may not be, but it doesn’t stop people in the meeting from assuming you are and thinking less of you for it. Put you phone away, close your laptop, and engage in the topic. Listen to what people are saying.

Pro tip: I pretend that I’m always about to be called upon to add to the conversation, so I’m always thinking “what would I say in response to that?” I’m always prepared to add my perspective.

3. Restate and clarify something that is being said. This tactic is tricky, because if you do it constantly you’ll come across as uselessly saying the same thing as others. At least once or twice in any reasonable sized meeting it can be very valuable to restate the goal, the problem, the decision, or the next steps. If you’re listening and you hear something that would help the overall meeting go better if everyone agreed, you can slow down the meeting a bit.

Pro tip: Try using the words “so let me say that again - the problem we’re trying to solve today is …. does everyone agree?”

Bonus: Know when to stop talking. You may love this topic and know it in depth. You can talk for days on it. Talking too much can give the wrong impression. If others see you going far into the details that aren’t relevant to the goal at hand, you can give the impression you’re not an executive. If you have value to add, add it and stop. If the conversation leverages that information, great. If not, don’t keep explaining it because you think folks don’t get it. It might not matter.