You are more effective as a leader when you see the world around you for all the variation, and choose how to respond. Our world is a constant roller coaster ride. We have ups and downs that can feel like we’re being whipped around. It’s natural to move through the world simply reacting to stimulation. Reacting to other people. Reacting to unexpected situations. Reacting to new opportunities. Not truly taking the moment to think about what you will do next. Leaders don’t simply react. Take a moment and respond.

It isn’t easy to insert that pause between stimulus and response. It takes practice to develop such a habit. For me, I’ve spend most of my adult life simply reacting. I honk my horn at the car ahead of me that takes too long at the stoplight. I send a fiery e-mail to chastise a coworker. I scold my child for disobeying. I am better when I see the stimulus, consider my feelings and choose to respond (or not respond). I have much more success.

I was reading a book called “10% Happier” by Dan Harris at the recommendation of my good friend Ryan. He set my expectations well that it was an interesting story of this news anchor who melted down on-air and went on a journey to explore meditation to understand how to deal with what he calls “the voice in his head.” Ryan also nailed that by about two-thirds through the book you feel like you have the basic story, and finishing it was much harder than starting it.

I relate to the words Harris uses to describe himself. He talked about being driven, at times obsessive about planning, and direct to a point of being jarring to others. He discusses his practice of meditation and mindfulness as his way to develop the habit to avoid mindless reaction. I appreciated the way he described his own skepticism about the process. I share much of that skepticism.

One of the messages that “10% Happier” articulates is meditation can be training to control your attention, and provide tools to avoid reflexive reactions. I walked away with the understanding of the difference between reacting (an unconscious reflex) and responding. Dan Harris walks through his own personal story of managing to tone down his reflexive reactions and be more mindful.

Harris comes across as self aggrandizing in way that might be off-putting for some folks. The whole title is “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice In My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, And Found Self-Help That Actually Works - A True Story.” It feels like a warning to anyone that picks up the book that he’s a little narcissistic.

In my own life, I find that when I can effectively be present in the moment and respond rather than react I am much happier. I am allowing myself to be happy. There are similar lessons in Chade-Meng Tan’s book on Google’s mindfulness program “Search Inside Yourself”.

I am side-stepping some of my first reactions that don’t support my desired end-goal. Harris calls out advice he got from an instructor to ask of any response “Is it useful?” Let your response go if it isn’t useful. You will be a better leader. You will be happier. And everyone else around you will appreciate your apparent calm.